I really don’t know what I am doing; no f’in’ idea. Admittedly, it is part of the joy of this journey. Every moment is a surprise — not always a good one. And I am working on that… I hear that one’s experience of Joy is completely dependent on personal choice. I think I’ve even read that somewhere.

I know part of my journey is finding out I am not unique.

It is a great big world; or is it a small world after all. Again: choice, perspective.

I am listening to a podcast series that was introduced to me by a peer in the realm of DEI. It is heartbreaking that something that should be so simple — create a healthy environment for all children to grow and learn in — is so far away. Let me add some more context: it is so far away in communities predominantly white and well-off. Privileged. I heard something in the podcast that brought some clarity to the overall challenge to me. It is bringing consciousness to light that this country’s core is racist. It is a simple statement with a lot of historical and current proof.

Our challenge as people is to not believe that is the end-all of the story of the United States of America.

All of our long-lasting relationships that have any meaning for us come with challenge. What is important in the challenge is to know, continually know, that our love for the individuals we are in relationship with is more important than the challenge. A dear friend’s words come to mind. She was speaking of her marriage. She said that the challenges her and her husband experience throughout their relationship always are about the challenge at hand – not the person. when things were heated in communication, the heat was not directed at the other.

Anyway, I do believe we all are doing our best to create the best life we know how.

I know I want to see Dr. Martin Luther King’s view from the mountain top. I want to see the brotherhood that Malcom X witnessed during his Hajj.

Truly, though, as my heart breaks yet again… I am grateful that I really have no idea what I am doing. Thank Allah.