of late, i’ve been wondering what one is to do when all one sees is of one’s self is the dark – the hard – the burdened…

the shadows of the self—after all the work we do to be an authentically, loving, happy human being—washed away with selfish acts; reactionary responses.

In this place, it is very difficult to see the light; to see the hope for continuing on one’s path. Oh, we so want to change the path… if I was with a different partner, I’d be happy. If I had a different job, more money—looked beautiful…

I’d be happy.

Yet, if we are truly created beings of divine nature, then within us is the spark of light, hope, peace, joy that we all desire and strive for… strive for? that statement alone implies that it is something yet to be achieved—yet as beings of creation, existence, we were created in wholeness. There is nothing to be achieved… the divine perfection of self already exists and is alive within us. So, why am i not cognizant of it? ah, there’s the rub…

along with this “thinking” about our darkness—our shadow self—i’ve given thought to the recent tragedy of the Connecticut elementary school… for the peace I am looking for is peace for all beings—love for all beings. to me this means our heart goes out to the perpetrators of such insane acts as for the victims of such acts. it means that perhaps there isn’t a “bad” person and/or a “good” person in such a situation… i am pretty sure that there are a lot of people that need a lot of love pouring out to them—healing miracles of real Love—in such mad acts on this planet.

That is God. In God’s garden sit the sinner and the saint in perfect peace… didn’t many just recently sing “Peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled”? I did. (Christmas caroling is a fabulous way to bring the joy and spirit of the season forth; highly recommended.)

What might the extreme of this be? The devil himself sits in the garden with total Peace, Love, Joy & Hope… Salvation & Peace for all beings.

Perhaps evil exists as the “last one across”. The evil one is the sweep of the journey, making sure that no one is left behind. We all cross over to Nirvana, Enlightenment, Heaven. And how is this assured? Because one walks behind all others to ensure that everyone makes it to the end… makes it across. And who would such a person or being be on such an ethereal journey? i think on such a journey this being would be—the devil; the evil one… the one who walks furthest back to ensure all are completing the journey.

so perhaps, our shadows, our darkness—our evil— is our compass, continually guiding us towards the garden of peace that awaits our journey’s end. it is the last one home; the furthest one back. the sweep…

i am grateful for all guides, aids and allies who help me to be a being of Peace, Joy, Love & Hope.