i am close to turning fifty. it seems like a turning point to me; poignant with meaning that i cannot place into words. some agree with me—about turning fifty.

some don’t.

and isn’t that the way of it? the mystical perceived through chemical and biology shatters upon attempting to capture it in a permanent fashion; given the means we have on this planet… there is nothing that stands without tearing apart upon this dear earth

nothing physical at least—for the spirit and dreams of the inner world remain alive regardless of the ceaseless counseling for reality and righteousness…

this planet is finite and limits the scope of wonder that we all are—everywhere we look… up to the heavens—into the cosmos of the nuclei… no matter where we turn, there is infinite wonder.

i am happy. i am part of a very loving family. and it extends outward to other family; and friends that are family… and acquaintances that are family… supportive… i remain a part of our planet for now – a vibrant part, resonating with all life that is in this moment— alive

and sometimes, these people that are my home— they show me the inner elements i still hold on to that are not resonating with my own personal infinite wonder

i have come to realize that when i grow weary of one of the humans i interact with, it is not the outer individual that is at issue—it is that there is still an element within me that comes to consciousness— a character “deficiency” or train of thought that does not resonate with the infinite symphony at work within. it is discordant and doesn’t support the melody and music of my soul…

as composer, i should be grateful for such individuals to show me the elements of my song that could do with a rewrite… ah, alas—i am not always so conscious and awake as that…

and now it is time for an out-breath. a pause. i’ve extended myself and must rest…

grateful; i am alive

the lion sleep with the lamb? how about we break bread with the dali lama and charles manson… there is some real peace